…so I thought i’d bring you all up to speed with what’s been happening in my life!
Back in December i mentioned that I had some family problems to deal with, well they are still problems but I am learning to deal with them in bite sized chunks. First, my Dad is suffering from Alzheimers and this has been getting progressively worse over the past 5 years, but to make things worse, he was diagnosed with cancer some 18 months ago, originally it was a slow growing tumour that needed six monthly checkups, but now it has become far more aggressive and he is now waiting to die. To add to my woes my 89 year old mum had a heart attack in February! This is the same month that Phil started to suffer from gall stones!!!!!
So you can see why I had to curb my activity here on WordPress.
Needless to say my sex life has not been very adventurous of late, so I have no sexy titbits to tempt you with! In fact, for a two week period in April I was sure my yoni was going to heal over as it was not getting any use at all!
However, some good has come from all this, my older sister and I have now become so much closer (for most of our teens we hated each other!), we now are inseparable when we can get together. There is now an intimacy (not in the physical sense!!) between us, we talk about and share so much more than we ever used to. It’s great!
So, dear readers, I am back for a while, maybe I can kick start my sex life again so that I can share some adventures with you.
I have been wondering what to write about this week, the muse has been deserting me lately! But then out of the blue a couple of girlfriends have given me inspiration. We were out on a “girls night out” last night and as the wine flowed, the conversation got more and more down to earth!
The two girls in question are 41 and 56, the latter being well and truly past the menopause. The topic veered towards sex (it usually does when a group of girls get together, probably more so that you guys would believe!) and in particular semen! The two in question are both married and the younger one on the pill for contraception. Yet both of them make their husbands wear condoms when they make love because “it’s a lot less messy”!
Now maybe I’m a odd one, but as far as I’m concerned I want to get messy! To me the presence of semen is important, it’s the proof that our union has reached an ecstatic climax. I’m quite happy to have it trickle down between my butt cheeks or down my legs, it’s all part of the process of making love. It has been thus ever since Phil & I got together, I was on the pill when we first met, I switched to the diaphragm with spermicide shortly after as the pill had unwanted side effects, then once our family was complete Phil had a vasectomy followed by a ritual burning of the diaphragm as soon as he was given the nod that no more sperm were present. So I have always enjoyed that “oozy” feeling after making love, things just wouldn’t be right without it.
I think society has become too “clean” in some respects, yes a condom is necessary when having sex with a stranger, but once you are in a permanent relationship & using a less undesirable form of contraception, let the juices flow! Get sweaty, get wet, get dirty even, but be lusty & enthusiastic!
…but after the euphoria & joy of my tantric massage a few weeks ago, something happened that brought me back to earth with a massive bump. I’m afraid that blogging about my sexlife or even commenting on other blogs has not been high on my agenda.
I have a couple of things I need to get my head round but as soon as I feel up to it I will be back.
Until then, please bear with me.
Tuesday update: OK, It will probably do me good to write about this so here goes, about ten days ago I bumped into a friend while out shopping who said to me “have you heard about C (a mutual friend that I particularly like), it’s just too awful?” I hadn’t heard so asked her what had happened to C, the reply made my blood run cold, it was any mother’s worst nightmare.
I rushed round to see C, her husband answered the door & beckoned me in. Their son, the same age as our own eldest boy, had been killed in a stupid accident that morning during the early hours. C was in a state of despair & shock that made me feel weak at the knees. He had gone up to the midlands the day before, C had not had the chance to say goodbye to him as he was still in bed when she left for work, he was visiting an old university chum who was getting engaged. A group of them had gone out together to celebrate, somehow he got separated from the rest of the group, CCTV footage picked him up outside the nightclub at one in the morning, twenty minutes later he was hit by a truck on the M69, some four miles from the nightclub. He died instantly.
This truly shocked me to the core. But when I went to the funeral last weekend, even I wasn’t prepared for what I saw and the effect it had on me. C was a destroyed woman, her grief was unbelievable. I’m afraid it has affected me as I keep thinking “there but for the grace of God, go I”. No mother should have to bury her only son, it is not in the natural order of things. I think it will take a long time for me to get over this, but that is nothing compared to what C is going through now.
Not alot is the short answer! At least nothing of interest here, unless the few days I spent helping my Mum up in London excites you!
I will be going for my oft postponed tantric massage on Saturday, that’s carved in stone now! Nothing is going to come between me & a bit of “me” time now.
Oh, one thing has just sprung to mind….while I was away I got an email from an oganisation that conducts surveys. About a year ago I took part in research about sexual attitudes and gave them my email address for any follow up surveys. This new survey has a few questions that have made me take stock of my life so far. One question asks how many sexual partners I have had (partners doesn’t have to mean someone I have had intercourse with, it can mean any form of sexual activity) and I have to admit that I am a little shocked by my tally!
I freely admit I was promiscuous as a teenager, but I spent plenty of years in two monogamous relationships until Phil and I decided to try sexual experimentation in 2002 (we stopped in 2008, so there was a 6 year period during which we “swung”) but when I counted my partners, male and female, I discovered that between the age of 12(when I had my first proper sexual experience which consisted of masturbating a lad to a climax and letting him touch me intimately) and the age of 51 (when we last had a third party for sex) I had been touched by or had intercourse with close on 30 individuals! Quite shocking!
…but I have been incredibly busy! I have been providing sickness cover for a colleague AND trying to organise getting my kitchen refurbished! So, yes, I haven’t been posting much here for the past two weeks. Rest assured that I will be composing a diatribe about the joys of female ejaculation very soon as well as posting more photos on my “alternative” blog.
In the mean time, please feel free to comment on the photos I have already put up, it’s always nice to get feedback…..
I started HRT around the first week of last December, as you know, I have found it way WAY better than I was led to believe it was going to be like.
I have already mentioned one odd side effect (the flatulence, which is not directly linked to HRT but to the fact that HRT has made me a bit constipated & the treatment for that is what makes me fart!).
However, I am getting a bit puzzled by what seems to be another side effect…..since Christmas I have been having the most vivid & erotic dreams!! I can only assume that the hormone top-up I am getting is the cause, but hell’s teeth, they are getting more & more……well, rude is the best word I can think of!
Take last night, I dreamed I was lying naked on a flat rock at the bottom of a low cliff, my legs spread wide, masturbating like mad while a crowd of onlookers gathered to watch from the top of the cliff! The more they seemed to shout their encouragement (I could’t make out what they were saying) the more I was goaded to make myself orgasm!
I woke up in such a state of arousal that I would have jumped on Phil were he not due to be somewhere for work much earlier than usual. As it is I was able to finish myself off on record time as I was on the verge of orgasm anyway!
I don’t know how many of you who are reading this are of an age where you may be taking HRT, but if you are, please tell me if you experienced something similar!!