Doesn’t time fly!!

Where has the time gone? I can’t believe it’s been so long since my last post here.
So…what have i been up to? Well, two Fridays ago I went to an Ann Summers party hosted by a friend. Those of you who may not be familiar with Ann Summers, it is a chain of marital aide/lingerie shops that also does parties in peoples houses. All good, not so clean, fun!! Except that I think I have opened mouth before engaging brain during the evening. Part of the proceedings involves the organisers setting up party games to warm the atmosphere up! One of the games was a sort of Truth or Dare thing and you couldn’t have scripted it better if you had tried…the question I got was “have you ever had a threesome?”!!! I just smiled and asked to take the fifth amendment! Big mistake. Gasps and catcalls ensued. It would now seem that rather too many of my friends now know that I have indulged! Oh well……
The other thing that happened is that I went to hen party last weekend. (Batchelorette party for those of you in the States!) I have a lovely friend in London who’s daughter is getting married next weekend, my friend is a kind, generous, loving woman who I have a lot of time for. But she does have one flaw though, she is….how can I put this? Uncultured? Unsophisticated? I was told that her daughter, who I have known for over twenty years, wouldn’t take no for an answer. I had to come. But my heart sank when I heard that the venue was going to be a private members club in a part of London I would rather have avoided! More to the point, there were going to be “male strippers”! Oh joy!!!!!!
The party was everything I thought it would be, and then some! Have any of you ever heard of the Dancing Bear stripper act? The audience usually end up participating in some way. To be honest, I had always thought it was set up in some way, but no. There were two parties at the club that night and I would say that at least three of the ladies present actually had full penetrative sex with the two strippers. My friend’s daughter’s bridesmaid being one of them! The rest of us had to endure rubbing canned whipped cream over the the penises of the strippers, some had to lick it off (I avoided that “pleasure”!). The whole evening was just so…..crude. And the price of the drinks was extortionate!
The wedding is next weekend, I am trying to think of an excuse to get out of going…..I imagine that there will be some serious hangovers on the following Sunday.


Fun and games.

I wonder how many of you remember playing games like Forfeits, Truth or Dare or Kiss Chase? We played them all the time as kids, then as we got a bit older the games became a bit more daring, we added games like Spin the Bottle and Strip Jack Naked (Strip Poker by another name).
I mention them because now that we have internet access again at home, Phil has showed me a site where young men & women play party games with the same sort of adult themes but thr difference is they are being filmed!
Watching one particularly sexy passage I was reminded of events that happened to me way back in 1975, or maybe it was 1976, whatever. I was taking my first bite at academia and this particular year I was mixing with some really fun friends! One, let’s call her Carol, had an aunt who lived in North Devon who gave Carol the opportunity to use her house for the Easter break. The proviso was that we were not to have any wild parties, were not to bring any boys back and that we had to leave the house as clean & tidy as we found it! And if we did weaken and have a party we were to use the summer house at the bottom of the garden (what a lovely aunt!!)
On arrival the four of us unpacked in our chosen rooms (two in each bedroom) and got down to some typically girly things while listening to music by Genesis, Yes, Supertramp and Steamhammer (we were all prog-rock chicks!)Then over the next three days we discovered that Lynton & Lynmouth are not exactly the youngsters utopia we hoped they would be! Having explored both & found a couple of decent pubs, we set about trying to find some sort of nightlife….to no avail!
Still, we were having a nice time in each others company so we didn’t mind too much. Then on the Thursday evening salvation arrived in the shape of three very tasty looking guys. Us four girls were sat on Lynmouth sea front eating our fish and chips when these 3 guys walked up to us & asked us if we knew of anywhere they could spend the night at minimal cost. They were hitch hiking their way to Cornwall for the surfing season and came to the conclusion that at 6:30PM they were unlikely to get a lift anywhere from Lynton!
They were polite, well spoken & obviously educated, so the four of us had a little pow-wow during which we asked Carol if they could sleep in the summerhouse,which was used for storing patio furniture & chairs etc. It only took a minute to decide & they were SO grateful!!
We walked back to the cottage (45 minutes, mostly uphill on the way back!!) and pointed them to the bathroom so that they could freshen up. When they emerged, showered & in fresh clothes, we gathered up some nibbles, crisps & peanuts, a couple of bottles of cider & a bottle of sweet sherry (a hangover in the making there!) & made our way to the summerhouse.
By the time the sherry was finished & most of the cider also gone, the atmosphere was getting a bit lairy. One of the guys produced a spliff & that was it…we were well on our way to a memorable evening! Someone suggested playing spin the bottle, the forfeits and dares got more and more suggestive and before long we were all in various states of undress! You won’t be surprised to read that I was one of the more “undressed” ones…haven’t changed much have I?!
Anyway, we decided to round the evening off with a competition in which there would be TWO winners…. The boys all had to line up, backs to the wall and wedding tackle front and centre, three of us girls (the most daring, or should that be drunk?) had to stand next to a guy then on the word go from the “judge” we had to wank our chosen guy off! The winning girl would be the one who made her guy come first, the winning guy would be the one who sprayed his semen the farthest! Yeah… I know, but we couldn’t think of a better contest on the spur of the moment! Anyway, it pains me to admit that I came second in both categories!
Still, it goes to show that the youth of today have nothing to shock us oldies, we just didn’t have mobile phones or digital camcorders to record it on!