A blast from the past!

Phil (my husband) suggested that I should mention something that happened a few weeks ago that could be of interest to some of you.
As you all know, I have a special interest in the subject of female ejaculation, I have mentioned it in several of my blogs and I have even written a whole piece about it in an attempt to explain what it is that makes me come the way I do. I am so passionate about it that back in 2002 I set up a Group on MSN called “the Wet Patch” that for a while was officially one of the top ten most read groups on MSN!It was aimed at both men as well as women and was deliberately not “adult” so that younger people could access it for guidance and information. In time it became too much for me to cope with so I took on an assistant manager who ultimately assumed full control of it when I decided to pull out. She took it in a different direction, which was a pity as I still think that there is a shortage of non-sensational information on that subject in the media.
Anyway, back to this piece, about a month ago I found a reply to my post about FE from someone who used to be a regular correspondent on the old Wet Patch. To cut a long story short, she had read my blog in which I talked about the time I attempted to “teach” my very close friends Jacky and her husband Garry how to achieve female ejaculation. She wondered if I would consider coaching her and her husband in a similar manner.
I have to say that the idea did appeal to me and I gave it a lot of thought and was on the verge of agreeing as she had generously offered to pay my expenses and even suggested that Phil should accompany me to act as a chaperone, however my very good cyber-friend Joy Nelson of Tantrachick pointed out that I had more than enough on my plate with all the other crap that was (and still is) going on in my life, so I put Christine and Paul off for the time being. But the option is still very much on the table, I think I would find it quite rewarding if it all worked.
I just need to invest in some surgical quality latex gloves!!

Advertisements

A tricky one!

If you have been reading my previous entries you will know that in my role as a community health professional I have special responsibility for breast feeding matters. What I also do is question new mums about their general state of mind, how they are coping with motherhood, monitor their babies and stuff like that. However, on Monday I was going through the “maternal mood” questionaire with a mum in her late 20s and on completion I asked if there was anything else she wanted to ask me about. What she asked me floored me for a few moments!
“before I fell pregnant with baby J I was able to ejaculate, there wasn’t much opportunity to have sex during pregnancy, but since giving birth I don’t seem to have had much success, will it come back?”
Hmm….you can imagine my dilemma! I had no reason to doubt her sincerity, but how could I answer that? I could have just fobbed her off with a suggestion that she speaks to her doctor, but knowing what I do about most GPs, I felt that was short changing her. So I grabbed the bull by the horns and asked her if she had been doing her pelvic floor exercises regularly as that was what helped me after my first baby. There, I had said it. The cat was out of the bag, someone now knew that I could “shejaculate”! OK, I know that all of you who read my blog will know that I can do it, but this was the first person, other than my close friends Jacky & Garry, who would now be aware of my capabilities. In a way it was quite liberating. I felt that I could now talk about it to people who could genuinely have a need for my input.
Maybe I should become a sex counsellor!
Anyway, I ran through the pelvic floor routines with her (her midwife should have done that), got her to try peeing and stopping mid-flow without leaking, and generally tried to reassure her that things would get back to normal soon.
I will enjoy monitoring her progress!

Tantric bliss

So, at long last I have had my massage! After so many postponements I was beginning to think that fate was against me! Can I say right now that anyone contemplating something like this should REALLY go ahead, it will be money well spent.
I won’t write about the entire experience, it would take too long & I think you would get bored! What I will tell about are the highlights….and the one surprise.
Phil got me to Alison’s studio by mid afternoon yesterday (Saturday) and was sent off to browse the nearby Factory Outlet shopping complex with strict instructions not to return for at least two hours and to be kind to our credit card!
Alison started the session by sitting me down and asking me questions about allergies, past muscular injuries & if I had suffered any re-occurrence of cystitis. She then talked about what she would be doing, how she would not move on to the next level without asking me first and explaining that due to space & infrastructure limitations she would not be able to provide the traditional “cleansing” ritual (no problem as I had bathed before leaving).
The other breaks with tradition were that she opted not to be naked too (fine by me) and the massage would take place on a massage table rather than on cushions on the floor.
Alison got me to undress & change into a sarong that she had provided while she busied herself with two small bowls of warmed oils.
She started with me sat on the table and spent some time teaching me to breath correctly (using my abdomen), she kept at least one hand on me at all times, she then started to massage my head and shoulders, Indian style, then she asked me to stand and she dis-robed me. The next part of the massage was with me laying face down on the table, it culminated with a divine stroke that consisted of her lightly tracing the length of my spine with fingertips, down between my buttocks and lifting off just as she approached my anus, but as she lifted off the one hand, the other hand started the stroke again, this carried on, alternating hands, for a few minutes then she asked me to turn over, again maintaining a point of contact with my skin throughout.
The massage continued with her starting at the top of my chest, over my breasts and down to my abdomen, gradually working her way down my front, then she started on my legs, first the right then the left, each stroke getting further up my thighs until her fingertips were just about brushing my pubic area. All the while she would whisper softly asking me if I was comfortable with what she was doing (needless to say I was!). She then told me that she was going to start the yoni massage next and asked me to bend my knees and let my legs fall naturally apart.
I was supposed to be in a state of relaxed bliss but I have to say that what I was feeling was arousal more than anything else!
She changed from the oils that she had used on my body so far to an oil I recognised straight away: wheatgerm oil. I had used that during both my pregnancies, both to condition my nipples & to help maintain the elasticity of my vulva & perineum. The aroma is unmistakeable!
I can’t be sure what she was doing, I couldn’t see, but it definitely felt wonderful.She seemed to be working on my outer labia, first one side then the other. Again she was whispering asking me if I was ok and if I was happy for her to continue (I was!), then she shifted round and put one hand palm down on my pubic bone, with the other hand she started to gently work the oiled fingers into me. She was obviously aware of my feelings, she whispered encouragement and reminders to keep my breathing rhythmic and deep. I was trying very hard not to squirm, but I think I failed in that respect.She moved the thumb of the hand that was on my pubic bone so the she was now able to start massaging my clitoris, all the while massaging the inner walls of my vagina, front and back, with the fingers of the other hand. I knew that a climax was building & I think I managed to warn her what was approaching, but even as I said it, she had transferred the fingers inside from the back to the front wall of my vagina, right onto my Gspot (or Goddess spot I think she had called it ) and I came, quite wetly! She again whispered encouragement, without breaking the rhythm of her strokes and I felt myself come again. It was at this point that something unexpected, as far as I was concerned, happened. I felt an unbelievable surge of emotion welling up inside me, I used the breathing rhythm to try and control this feeling but I’m pretty certain she was aware of what was going on, I could very easily have started crying! At this stage I had lost all notion of time, I hadn’t a clue how long I had been there. Alison seemed to start winding the massage down, gradually she stopped the strokes and her hand fell still. She still had fingers inside me and a hand resting on my pubic bone, but all was still. I felt this warmth spreading from the hand on my pubis, which seemed to spread up into my chest. I think I was drifting off as I felt like I was floating above the massage table, I was barely aware of Alison withdrawing her hands and covering me with the sarong, I felt like I was looking down on myself. A very odd sensation! When I came round, Alison was no longer in the room, again I had no idea of how long I had been in that trance like state. My legs had been straightened for me, the sarong felt incredibly sensual on my skin and I just wanted to savour the moment. Alison reappeared and asked me if I was ok, turns out the whole process had taken just two hours. She handed me a glass of mineral water & advised me to drink lots for the rest of that day. I got dressed, feeling slightly light headed and went out to find Phil, sat waiting for me.
Would I do it again? Without a moments hesitation! But could I afford it? Remember, this was a freebie as Alison was looking for experience and wanted my feedback (but not there and then!). A full tantric massage does not come cheap, maybe I will save up & spoil myself in the future.
There is one more thing i need to add though, this morning, Phil & I made love. It was one of those lazy Sunday morning sessions, unhampered by children or other distractions. I had two orgasms, the first one was what I would have expected, the second one some 20-30 minutes later was not expected though. Could yesterday’s experience have any thing to do with it? Logic says no, but it is a coincidence, isn’t it

The “bugger” factor!

The expression “bugger,bugger,bugger” springs to mind.
Yesterday I was due to visit the massage therapist I talked about previously to have my Tantric massage (with yoni massage added). I had been really looking forward to the experience.
So Friday evening I decided to give my somewhat neglected pubes some attention (apparently yoni massage is better with smooth labia) and as usual got Philippe to shave me. And as usual, that led to some nooky! In fact it was quite a good session, I climaxed several times with accompanying ejaculations before building up to an almighty orgasm.
In the early hours of Saturday morning I got up to go for a pee and felt that dreaded twinge of cystitis. By nine o’clock in the morning it had turned into a fully fledged bout of cystitis, really REALLY painful.
There was no way I could contemplate the massage feeling like that and a phone call to Alison confirmed that there was no way she would do a yoni massage with me suffering like that. So the whole thing has had to be postponed until the first weekend in May.
To those of you looking forward to reading about it, I apologise. Believe me, I’m as disappointed as you are!

Monday update: normal service is being resumed! Thank goodness for Cymalon!

The controversial issue of female ejaculation!

Image from "Tantric Serenity"

I have been meaning to write this piece for ages, it’s a subject that interests me profoundly.
Let me start by giving you a bit of background on my own experience of female ejaculation. I’m not entirely certain how typical I am but from what I’ve read I seem to be fairly representative of the part of the female population that can achieve this phenomenon.
My ejaculations don’t usually coincide with an orgasm. They are the product of what I like to call my climaxes. I can have quite a few climaxes on my way to the big “O”, most, though not all, accompanied by an ejaculation. I usually find that my climaxes get closer together as I approach orgasm, which can lead to an almost continuous series of ejaculations. The ejaculation itself consists of a spurt of clear fluid at the first contraction followed by what is best described as a dribble of fluid with the following contraction. At best my ejaculation can spurt out 10 to 12 inches, certainly not the huge arc of fluid that can go half way across the room you usually see coming out of the women in porn films!! I have very serious doubts that what you see there is a genuine ejaculation, more likely either peeing or the result of a carefully concealed water squirter with the spout between the the womans legs….
My own ejaculate is usually bland tasting, maybe slightly salty depending on what I have eaten or drunk in the previous few hours.
Now I want to talk about why I know that what I produce is not pee. I always go to the toilet before having any sex or masturbating as I have a long history of cystitis, so having an empty bladder means that I’m not peeing when I ejaculate. Also, my pee is obviously yellow and smells of urine. I have peed onto a white cotton hanky & left it to dry, it was still yellow when dry & still smelled of urine. The wet patch left behind when I ejaculate dries leaving nothing more than a faint water mark & is totally odorless.
The best way to make me ejaculate is to start by stimulating my clitoris and when I am well and truly aroused (ie wet!) insert a finger into my vagina, about one to one and a half inches in and rub the front wall of my vagina which would seem to be where my G spot is located. That, combined with the rubbing of my clitoris will usually bring me to a climax and produce an ejaculation. Certain positions, such as rear entry, during intercourse which allow me to rub my clitoris while bringing the glans or tip if the penis into contact with my G spot will also result in an ejaculation.
I have always been someone who got very “wet” during sex, but I had no idea that whet I was actually doing was ejaculating. I had always assumed that my vaginal lubrication glands were working overtime! It wasn’t until I had given birth to my first child that something started to intrigue me. My midwife followed by my health visitor, both drummed into me the importance of doing my pelvic floor (kegel) exercises. Over a short period my pelvic muscles became stronger than they were before childbirth and I became aware that fluid was not only dribbling out during a climax but was actually spurting out. The more i exercised the more I was able to make the fluid spurt out. Then my good friend Jacky showed me an article in Cosmo or Marie Claire all about female ejaculation and it all fell into place!
Twenty three years on & I still ejaculate. As mentioned in my post “a new year a new phase”, I have decided to talk about the subject. Any of you guys reading this who want advice please feel free to ask me. After all, we all (women) have the same basic plumbing, so we should all be able to ejaculate. I think it’s the “I feel like I’m going to pee” mentality that puts so many women off & inhibits them. If you can just learn to go with the flow & trust that you are NOT peeing yourself, you will discover a whole new facet to sex & lovemaking.

I haven’t fallen off the planet…

…but I have been incredibly busy! I have been providing sickness cover for a colleague AND trying to organise getting my kitchen refurbished! So, yes, I haven’t been posting much here for the past two weeks. Rest assured that I will be composing a diatribe about the joys of female ejaculation very soon as well as posting more photos on my “alternative” blog.
In the mean time, please feel free to comment on the photos I have already put up, it’s always nice to get feedback…..