A tricky one!

If you have been reading my previous entries you will know that in my role as a community health professional I have special responsibility for breast feeding matters. What I also do is question new mums about their general state of mind, how they are coping with motherhood, monitor their babies and stuff like that. However, on Monday I was going through the “maternal mood” questionaire with a mum in her late 20s and on completion I asked if there was anything else she wanted to ask me about. What she asked me floored me for a few moments!
“before I fell pregnant with baby J I was able to ejaculate, there wasn’t much opportunity to have sex during pregnancy, but since giving birth I don’t seem to have had much success, will it come back?”
Hmm….you can imagine my dilemma! I had no reason to doubt her sincerity, but how could I answer that? I could have just fobbed her off with a suggestion that she speaks to her doctor, but knowing what I do about most GPs, I felt that was short changing her. So I grabbed the bull by the horns and asked her if she had been doing her pelvic floor exercises regularly as that was what helped me after my first baby. There, I had said it. The cat was out of the bag, someone now knew that I could “shejaculate”! OK, I know that all of you who read my blog will know that I can do it, but this was the first person, other than my close friends Jacky & Garry, who would now be aware of my capabilities. In a way it was quite liberating. I felt that I could now talk about it to people who could genuinely have a need for my input.
Maybe I should become a sex counsellor!
Anyway, I ran through the pelvic floor routines with her (her midwife should have done that), got her to try peeing and stopping mid-flow without leaking, and generally tried to reassure her that things would get back to normal soon.
I will enjoy monitoring her progress!

An unusual day at work!!

I don’t normally talk about my job, I try to keep it totally separate from my life here on WordPress, but today something happened that made me think “I wonder how many people get into this sort of situation at work?”
I am a community health practitioner, working with new mums and children under 5. Part of my job involves making home visits and today was one of those days. I was with a family I have been involved with for two years, they have a 3 year old boy and a 10 week old baby girl. Mum has been having problems breastfeeding (a major part of my remit is dealing with breastfeeding issues) so I had been there to observe and help. This was my 3rd visit of the day and I had been offered coffee in my 2 previous visits, so by the time i had concluded my visit here I was in need of a pee. I asked to use the bathroom and was happily sat there when the bathroom door was barged open by number one son (they have taken the locks off doors since the 3 year old had locked himself in a few months ago!), he handed me a towel and said “mummy told me to give you this”, I hadn’t noticed that there were no towels on the rail.
Now this little boy is very bright and articulate and he clearly wanted to stay and chat! Part of me felt I should usher him out but I also felt that acting naturally would be of benefit, so I let him stay while I pulled a length of toilet tissue off the roll & started to wipe myself while we chatted (him: “what you doing?” me: “having a wee “, him: “I use my potty”, me: “Do you think I should use a potty?”…and so the conversation went) I was in mid-wipe, in the hovering stance reaching down between my thighs when Dad appeared on the landing! Dad says “Is this a weird conversation or what?” I couldn’t close the door because number one son was in the way and while I’m sure Dad wasn’t staring at me, I’m also sure he saw a lot more of me than any other parent I deal with will ever get to see! Thankfully, mum comes upstairs & seeing the situation exclaims “Oh for goodness sake you two, can’t a girl have a bit of privacy?” and with that she scoops up number one son, shoves hubby out the way & closes the door!
I just burst out laughing, the whole situation was hilarious! My colleagues certainly thought so when I recounted the tale to them later.
But I have to admit that my next visit to this family will take on a very different ambience, it’s hard to look cool & professional when you’ve got your pants and knickers round your ankles and your hand in your crotch!!

The “bugger” factor!

The expression “bugger,bugger,bugger” springs to mind.
Yesterday I was due to visit the massage therapist I talked about previously to have my Tantric massage (with yoni massage added). I had been really looking forward to the experience.
So Friday evening I decided to give my somewhat neglected pubes some attention (apparently yoni massage is better with smooth labia) and as usual got Philippe to shave me. And as usual, that led to some nooky! In fact it was quite a good session, I climaxed several times with accompanying ejaculations before building up to an almighty orgasm.
In the early hours of Saturday morning I got up to go for a pee and felt that dreaded twinge of cystitis. By nine o’clock in the morning it had turned into a fully fledged bout of cystitis, really REALLY painful.
There was no way I could contemplate the massage feeling like that and a phone call to Alison confirmed that there was no way she would do a yoni massage with me suffering like that. So the whole thing has had to be postponed until the first weekend in May.
To those of you looking forward to reading about it, I apologise. Believe me, I’m as disappointed as you are!

Monday update: normal service is being resumed! Thank goodness for Cymalon!

Simple pleasures.

I have just returned from visiting an old friend who lost her husband six months ago. They used to live in London but about 19 years ago they sold up & bought themselves an old cottage in rural Gloucestershire with the aim of enjoying the less stressful existence that country living gives.
They refurbished their cottage and spent lots of money on all the modern conveniences like en suite bedrooms, fitted kitchen etc, but they retained one feature that I for one, am glad they did. They have an outside toilet (as well as a modern one inside!), which is situated alongside one of the outbuildings that now serves as a garage.
We went to the local village pub for lunch and by the time we walked back I was dying for a pee, my friend told me to use the outside loo and leave the door open! This I did and I quickly understood why she made that suggestion. The loo is not overlooked being in the garden, but it does overlook a wonderful vista. I sat there, emptying my bladder gazing across the garden to the Forest of Dean on the far side of the estuary with the welsh hills in the background and in that moment, life was good!
If only all of life’s pleasures could be that simple…..

The controversial issue of female ejaculation!

Image from "Tantric Serenity"

I have been meaning to write this piece for ages, it’s a subject that interests me profoundly.
Let me start by giving you a bit of background on my own experience of female ejaculation. I’m not entirely certain how typical I am but from what I’ve read I seem to be fairly representative of the part of the female population that can achieve this phenomenon.
My ejaculations don’t usually coincide with an orgasm. They are the product of what I like to call my climaxes. I can have quite a few climaxes on my way to the big “O”, most, though not all, accompanied by an ejaculation. I usually find that my climaxes get closer together as I approach orgasm, which can lead to an almost continuous series of ejaculations. The ejaculation itself consists of a spurt of clear fluid at the first contraction followed by what is best described as a dribble of fluid with the following contraction. At best my ejaculation can spurt out 10 to 12 inches, certainly not the huge arc of fluid that can go half way across the room you usually see coming out of the women in porn films!! I have very serious doubts that what you see there is a genuine ejaculation, more likely either peeing or the result of a carefully concealed water squirter with the spout between the the womans legs….
My own ejaculate is usually bland tasting, maybe slightly salty depending on what I have eaten or drunk in the previous few hours.
Now I want to talk about why I know that what I produce is not pee. I always go to the toilet before having any sex or masturbating as I have a long history of cystitis, so having an empty bladder means that I’m not peeing when I ejaculate. Also, my pee is obviously yellow and smells of urine. I have peed onto a white cotton hanky & left it to dry, it was still yellow when dry & still smelled of urine. The wet patch left behind when I ejaculate dries leaving nothing more than a faint water mark & is totally odorless.
The best way to make me ejaculate is to start by stimulating my clitoris and when I am well and truly aroused (ie wet!) insert a finger into my vagina, about one to one and a half inches in and rub the front wall of my vagina which would seem to be where my G spot is located. That, combined with the rubbing of my clitoris will usually bring me to a climax and produce an ejaculation. Certain positions, such as rear entry, during intercourse which allow me to rub my clitoris while bringing the glans or tip if the penis into contact with my G spot will also result in an ejaculation.
I have always been someone who got very “wet” during sex, but I had no idea that whet I was actually doing was ejaculating. I had always assumed that my vaginal lubrication glands were working overtime! It wasn’t until I had given birth to my first child that something started to intrigue me. My midwife followed by my health visitor, both drummed into me the importance of doing my pelvic floor (kegel) exercises. Over a short period my pelvic muscles became stronger than they were before childbirth and I became aware that fluid was not only dribbling out during a climax but was actually spurting out. The more i exercised the more I was able to make the fluid spurt out. Then my good friend Jacky showed me an article in Cosmo or Marie Claire all about female ejaculation and it all fell into place!
Twenty three years on & I still ejaculate. As mentioned in my post “a new year a new phase”, I have decided to talk about the subject. Any of you guys reading this who want advice please feel free to ask me. After all, we all (women) have the same basic plumbing, so we should all be able to ejaculate. I think it’s the “I feel like I’m going to pee” mentality that puts so many women off & inhibits them. If you can just learn to go with the flow & trust that you are NOT peeing yourself, you will discover a whole new facet to sex & lovemaking.

Men & their bathroom habits!

I recently had an interesting ‘phone conversation with my sister, somehow the topic of our men’s bathroom habits cropped up and I mentioned that Phil always pees sitting down during the night.
As far as my sister is concerned that puts Phil squarely in the “in touch with his feminine side” camp! Now, I know that the only reason he sits to pee is that at something like two thirty a.m. he does NOT want to wake up sufficiently to be able to stand & aim correctly, sitting means he can remain half asleep & not risk missing the toilet bowl!
But is he in the minority? I must admit that I can’t recall any previous men in my life who have sat down to pee at night, but a quick poll of four of my female colleagues showed that two other male partners sat to pee.
I guess we should be thankful for that at least……because one other bathroom habit that really pisses me off is the apparent inability men have to clean up the skidmarks after they have taken a dump! The toilet brush is close by! Why can’t you take a couple of seconds to remove your tracks after emptying your bowels??!! Do you think we enjoy having to practically scrape off the dried on crap 24 hours later? Think again….