attitude and comfort zone

This year has been an interesting one from the perspective of how we approach certain things. Take Phil for example, last spring he was diagnosed with Peyronies disease (a build up of plaque in the erectile tissue of the penis which causes painful erections and ejaculations, curving of the penis, sometimes quite alarmingly and in some cases erectile dysfunction). Our family doctor is a woman, so I half expected Phil to say that he would much rather see a male doctor about such an intimate issue. But I was wrong! In fact he stated that he felt more comfortable talking to a woman doctor about this, not to mention undergo the examination!! It’s not that he is homophobic, but he feels that having his most treasured possession handled, even for medical reasons, is best undertaken by a member of the opposite sex. It is a comfort thing.
Me, on the other hand, I would much rather be seen/examined by a member of my own gender! I remember some years ago having to call out the emergency doctor after falling down stairs and landing on my coccyx, fracturing it in two places. That entailed a rather intimate exam, including a “fickle finger of fate” up the back passage! The male doctor who came out was not only young enough to be my son, but was also rather dishy! Not that I was in any state to notice too much at the time……
In May, I had a Tantric massage, including a yoni massage, all done expertly by a female therapist that I felt completely at ease with. I didn’t even feel embarrassed when I climaxed. I’m not so sure that I would have given myself so completely to a male therapist. Again, it is a comfort thing.
That same female therapist saw me and Phil on Monday evening. She taught me how to give a non sexual massage to his lingam (penis), she also showed me how to use the squeeze technique when he felt he was about to ejaculate, as well as teach him deep breathing techniques to help control his urges. It’s just as well he feels more comfortable with members of the opposite sex!! I think he rather enjoyed being fussed by two women like that!

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Sorry for not being around much lately….

…but after the euphoria & joy of my tantric massage a few weeks ago, something happened that brought me back to earth with a massive bump. I’m afraid that blogging about my sexlife or even commenting on other blogs has not been high on my agenda.
I have a couple of things I need to get my head round but as soon as I feel up to it I will be back.
Until then, please bear with me.
Naturegirl.

Tuesday update: OK, It will probably do me good to write about this so here goes, about ten days ago I bumped into a friend while out shopping who said to me “have you heard about C (a mutual friend that I particularly like), it’s just too awful?” I hadn’t heard so asked her what had happened to C, the reply made my blood run cold, it was any mother’s worst nightmare.
I rushed round to see C, her husband answered the door & beckoned me in. Their son, the same age as our own eldest boy, had been killed in a stupid accident that morning during the early hours. C was in a state of despair & shock that made me feel weak at the knees. He had gone up to the midlands the day before, C had not had the chance to say goodbye to him as he was still in bed when she left for work, he was visiting an old university chum who was getting engaged. A group of them had gone out together to celebrate, somehow he got separated from the rest of the group, CCTV footage picked him up outside the nightclub at one in the morning, twenty minutes later he was hit by a truck on the M69, some four miles from the nightclub. He died instantly.
This truly shocked me to the core. But when I went to the funeral last weekend, even I wasn’t prepared for what I saw and the effect it had on me. C was a destroyed woman, her grief was unbelievable. I’m afraid it has affected me as I keep thinking “there but for the grace of God, go I”. No mother should have to bury her only son, it is not in the natural order of things. I think it will take a long time for me to get over this, but that is nothing compared to what C is going through now.

Tantric bliss

So, at long last I have had my massage! After so many postponements I was beginning to think that fate was against me! Can I say right now that anyone contemplating something like this should REALLY go ahead, it will be money well spent.
I won’t write about the entire experience, it would take too long & I think you would get bored! What I will tell about are the highlights….and the one surprise.
Phil got me to Alison’s studio by mid afternoon yesterday (Saturday) and was sent off to browse the nearby Factory Outlet shopping complex with strict instructions not to return for at least two hours and to be kind to our credit card!
Alison started the session by sitting me down and asking me questions about allergies, past muscular injuries & if I had suffered any re-occurrence of cystitis. She then talked about what she would be doing, how she would not move on to the next level without asking me first and explaining that due to space & infrastructure limitations she would not be able to provide the traditional “cleansing” ritual (no problem as I had bathed before leaving).
The other breaks with tradition were that she opted not to be naked too (fine by me) and the massage would take place on a massage table rather than on cushions on the floor.
Alison got me to undress & change into a sarong that she had provided while she busied herself with two small bowls of warmed oils.
She started with me sat on the table and spent some time teaching me to breath correctly (using my abdomen), she kept at least one hand on me at all times, she then started to massage my head and shoulders, Indian style, then she asked me to stand and she dis-robed me. The next part of the massage was with me laying face down on the table, it culminated with a divine stroke that consisted of her lightly tracing the length of my spine with fingertips, down between my buttocks and lifting off just as she approached my anus, but as she lifted off the one hand, the other hand started the stroke again, this carried on, alternating hands, for a few minutes then she asked me to turn over, again maintaining a point of contact with my skin throughout.
The massage continued with her starting at the top of my chest, over my breasts and down to my abdomen, gradually working her way down my front, then she started on my legs, first the right then the left, each stroke getting further up my thighs until her fingertips were just about brushing my pubic area. All the while she would whisper softly asking me if I was comfortable with what she was doing (needless to say I was!). She then told me that she was going to start the yoni massage next and asked me to bend my knees and let my legs fall naturally apart.
I was supposed to be in a state of relaxed bliss but I have to say that what I was feeling was arousal more than anything else!
She changed from the oils that she had used on my body so far to an oil I recognised straight away: wheatgerm oil. I had used that during both my pregnancies, both to condition my nipples & to help maintain the elasticity of my vulva & perineum. The aroma is unmistakeable!
I can’t be sure what she was doing, I couldn’t see, but it definitely felt wonderful.She seemed to be working on my outer labia, first one side then the other. Again she was whispering asking me if I was ok and if I was happy for her to continue (I was!), then she shifted round and put one hand palm down on my pubic bone, with the other hand she started to gently work the oiled fingers into me. She was obviously aware of my feelings, she whispered encouragement and reminders to keep my breathing rhythmic and deep. I was trying very hard not to squirm, but I think I failed in that respect.She moved the thumb of the hand that was on my pubic bone so the she was now able to start massaging my clitoris, all the while massaging the inner walls of my vagina, front and back, with the fingers of the other hand. I knew that a climax was building & I think I managed to warn her what was approaching, but even as I said it, she had transferred the fingers inside from the back to the front wall of my vagina, right onto my Gspot (or Goddess spot I think she had called it ) and I came, quite wetly! She again whispered encouragement, without breaking the rhythm of her strokes and I felt myself come again. It was at this point that something unexpected, as far as I was concerned, happened. I felt an unbelievable surge of emotion welling up inside me, I used the breathing rhythm to try and control this feeling but I’m pretty certain she was aware of what was going on, I could very easily have started crying! At this stage I had lost all notion of time, I hadn’t a clue how long I had been there. Alison seemed to start winding the massage down, gradually she stopped the strokes and her hand fell still. She still had fingers inside me and a hand resting on my pubic bone, but all was still. I felt this warmth spreading from the hand on my pubis, which seemed to spread up into my chest. I think I was drifting off as I felt like I was floating above the massage table, I was barely aware of Alison withdrawing her hands and covering me with the sarong, I felt like I was looking down on myself. A very odd sensation! When I came round, Alison was no longer in the room, again I had no idea of how long I had been in that trance like state. My legs had been straightened for me, the sarong felt incredibly sensual on my skin and I just wanted to savour the moment. Alison reappeared and asked me if I was ok, turns out the whole process had taken just two hours. She handed me a glass of mineral water & advised me to drink lots for the rest of that day. I got dressed, feeling slightly light headed and went out to find Phil, sat waiting for me.
Would I do it again? Without a moments hesitation! But could I afford it? Remember, this was a freebie as Alison was looking for experience and wanted my feedback (but not there and then!). A full tantric massage does not come cheap, maybe I will save up & spoil myself in the future.
There is one more thing i need to add though, this morning, Phil & I made love. It was one of those lazy Sunday morning sessions, unhampered by children or other distractions. I had two orgasms, the first one was what I would have expected, the second one some 20-30 minutes later was not expected though. Could yesterday’s experience have any thing to do with it? Logic says no, but it is a coincidence, isn’t it

What’s been happening?

Not alot is the short answer! At least nothing of interest here, unless the few days I spent helping my Mum up in London excites you!
I will be going for my oft postponed tantric massage on Saturday, that’s carved in stone now! Nothing is going to come between me & a bit of “me” time now.
Oh, one thing has just sprung to mind….while I was away I got an email from an oganisation that conducts surveys. About a year ago I took part in research about sexual attitudes and gave them my email address for any follow up surveys. This new survey has a few questions that have made me take stock of my life so far. One question asks how many sexual partners I have had (partners doesn’t have to mean someone I have had intercourse with, it can mean any form of sexual activity) and I have to admit that I am a little shocked by my tally!
I freely admit I was promiscuous as a teenager, but I spent plenty of years in two monogamous relationships until Phil and I decided to try sexual experimentation in 2002 (we stopped in 2008, so there was a 6 year period during which we “swung”) but when I counted my partners, male and female, I discovered that between the age of 12(when I had my first proper sexual experience which consisted of masturbating a lad to a climax and letting him touch me intimately) and the age of 51 (when we last had a third party for sex) I had been touched by or had intercourse with close on 30 individuals! Quite shocking!

The “bugger” factor!

The expression “bugger,bugger,bugger” springs to mind.
Yesterday I was due to visit the massage therapist I talked about previously to have my Tantric massage (with yoni massage added). I had been really looking forward to the experience.
So Friday evening I decided to give my somewhat neglected pubes some attention (apparently yoni massage is better with smooth labia) and as usual got Philippe to shave me. And as usual, that led to some nooky! In fact it was quite a good session, I climaxed several times with accompanying ejaculations before building up to an almighty orgasm.
In the early hours of Saturday morning I got up to go for a pee and felt that dreaded twinge of cystitis. By nine o’clock in the morning it had turned into a fully fledged bout of cystitis, really REALLY painful.
There was no way I could contemplate the massage feeling like that and a phone call to Alison confirmed that there was no way she would do a yoni massage with me suffering like that. So the whole thing has had to be postponed until the first weekend in May.
To those of you looking forward to reading about it, I apologise. Believe me, I’m as disappointed as you are!

Monday update: normal service is being resumed! Thank goodness for Cymalon!

Something to look forward to!

I know I haven’t been posting much lately, but I have been incredibly busy at work AND phase two of our kitchen refurbishment has started, so you will have to forgive me for now!
I do have something to mention though, last November I attended a seminar on baby massage and there I made acquaintance with a therapist from my part of the world. She was attending as a potential giver of massage, whereas I was there as someone who would be referring new mums to a therapist. Unfortunately, she works in a different health trust area, so I would not be directly involved with her, but we decided to keep in touch as I had levels of expertise that she could draw on and she could also provide information that I might find useful.
Anyway, last week I found myself in an area that was quite close to where she had her practice, so I phoned her to see if she was free for a chat. Turns out she was taking the afternoon off for a bit of studying and welcomed the opportunity to take a break, so I popped over to her place for a cup of tea.
I noticed that she was studying Tantric massage techniques and she explained that living & working near to Glastonbury she had a “New Age/hippy” client base and had occasionally been asked if she did tantric massage, so she decided to study it in order to add a string to her bow. To cut a long story short, she was nearing the end of her studies & was soon going to need a couple of volunteers to practice on and if i was interested she would welcome the impartial feedback I could giver her as she only had her husband to work on at this point. Now you can imagine my enthusiasm for this! She did say that she could leave out the ultimate part of the treatment (for those that may not know about tantra, the process can end with what is known as Yoni massage on a woman or Lingam massage on a man, try googling those terms for more info) if I was at all unsure about that aspect. I was more than happy for her to give me the full treatment, so in a couple of weekends time i shall get Phil to drive me down to her practice for what will be my first ever tantric massage. I will report back on how it went!