attitude and comfort zone

This year has been an interesting one from the perspective of how we approach certain things. Take Phil for example, last spring he was diagnosed with Peyronies disease (a build up of plaque in the erectile tissue of the penis which causes painful erections and ejaculations, curving of the penis, sometimes quite alarmingly and in some cases erectile dysfunction). Our family doctor is a woman, so I half expected Phil to say that he would much rather see a male doctor about such an intimate issue. But I was wrong! In fact he stated that he felt more comfortable talking to a woman doctor about this, not to mention undergo the examination!! It’s not that he is homophobic, but he feels that having his most treasured possession handled, even for medical reasons, is best undertaken by a member of the opposite sex. It is a comfort thing.
Me, on the other hand, I would much rather be seen/examined by a member of my own gender! I remember some years ago having to call out the emergency doctor after falling down stairs and landing on my coccyx, fracturing it in two places. That entailed a rather intimate exam, including a “fickle finger of fate” up the back passage! The male doctor who came out was not only young enough to be my son, but was also rather dishy! Not that I was in any state to notice too much at the time……
In May, I had a Tantric massage, including a yoni massage, all done expertly by a female therapist that I felt completely at ease with. I didn’t even feel embarrassed when I climaxed. I’m not so sure that I would have given myself so completely to a male therapist. Again, it is a comfort thing.
That same female therapist saw me and Phil on Monday evening. She taught me how to give a non sexual massage to his lingam (penis), she also showed me how to use the squeeze technique when he felt he was about to ejaculate, as well as teach him deep breathing techniques to help control his urges. It’s just as well he feels more comfortable with members of the opposite sex!! I think he rather enjoyed being fussed by two women like that!


A tricky one!

If you have been reading my previous entries you will know that in my role as a community health professional I have special responsibility for breast feeding matters. What I also do is question new mums about their general state of mind, how they are coping with motherhood, monitor their babies and stuff like that. However, on Monday I was going through the “maternal mood” questionaire with a mum in her late 20s and on completion I asked if there was anything else she wanted to ask me about. What she asked me floored me for a few moments!
“before I fell pregnant with baby J I was able to ejaculate, there wasn’t much opportunity to have sex during pregnancy, but since giving birth I don’t seem to have had much success, will it come back?”
Hmm….you can imagine my dilemma! I had no reason to doubt her sincerity, but how could I answer that? I could have just fobbed her off with a suggestion that she speaks to her doctor, but knowing what I do about most GPs, I felt that was short changing her. So I grabbed the bull by the horns and asked her if she had been doing her pelvic floor exercises regularly as that was what helped me after my first baby. There, I had said it. The cat was out of the bag, someone now knew that I could “shejaculate”! OK, I know that all of you who read my blog will know that I can do it, but this was the first person, other than my close friends Jacky & Garry, who would now be aware of my capabilities. In a way it was quite liberating. I felt that I could now talk about it to people who could genuinely have a need for my input.
Maybe I should become a sex counsellor!
Anyway, I ran through the pelvic floor routines with her (her midwife should have done that), got her to try peeing and stopping mid-flow without leaking, and generally tried to reassure her that things would get back to normal soon.
I will enjoy monitoring her progress!

What turns us on?

I think I would be stating the obvious if I said that guys like to watch their wives/girlfriends masturbate!! Hell, I admit that one of my favourite video sites is “I Feel Myself”. So that means that I like to watch other women masturbate. Who wouldn’t?!
I am quite happy to play with myself for Phil, as a rule I take longer to get going than he does so it makes sense for me to start before him. Also, it satisfies that exhibitionist streak in me.
But all this begs the question: do women like to watch their guys masturbate? Is there something slightly weird about watching your man wank himself for you?
When I start to touch myself I like to see that he is getting turned on. And I suppose that I find it quite sexy to see him start to touch himself, the sight of his penis getting hard is an important part of my own arousal. But after a few minutes I find that seeing him actually wanking gets much less interesting! Which is odd as I love to see him bring himself to orgasm. The sight of his semen spurting out, usually over my fingers and girly bits, is very satisfying and can speed up my own climaxes. It’s the part in between those two points that I find just a bit “seedy”!!
Am I alone in this?

Wind, rain and DTS

I’ve got plenty to tell you about, so I’ll try to keep things concise. I mentioned a wedding in one of my previous posts (the hen night was an eye opener!), that went better than I expected considering what went on during the hen night! There was only one fight (this was in SW London remember), but as the alcohol flowed during the reception both the bridesmaid and the brides mother got a bit vocal, which was a bit risky since the bridesmaid REALLY misbehaved on the hen night. Evidently the notion of “what happened in the club stays in the club” was being tested to the limit!!
OK, now for the vacation itself. I mentioned that we were going to spend some time in a naturist campsite, well that didn’t happen. The weather here in the UK has been vile for the past month. The plan was for Phil and I to meet up with our very close friends Garry & Jacky who invited us to join them when we found that our first week of vacation coincided with their second week. We met them in Wales where they were camping (not naturist !!) and joined them in their 6 man tent as there was plenty of space for just the 4 of us. Unfortunately the rain started midway through the first afternoon and barely stopped for the rest of the week!(ok, we did get one afternoon of sunshine!). There was little for us to do, so once we had done all the walking (and there is lots of scope for walkers in Wales!) we just hibernated in the tent with copious bottles of wine!
It was during the Wednesday afternoon that something remarkable happened, those of you who have followed my blogs will know about the relationship Phil & I have with Jacky and Garry(read for more information)The campsite was quiet, the holidaymakers were obviously all off somewhere, so Jacky suggested we retire to our bedroom compartments for a rest or some DTS (Day Time Sex). The way the tent was laid out meant the bedrooms were opposite each other and the nature of the relationship we all had meant we didn’t feel the need to zip the bedrooms closed. It’s probably no surprise to to read that we didn’t rest! I have to admit that there is something wonderfully erotic and intimate about making love with your partner in the company of another couple doing the same. Being able to see as well as be seen brings a whole new dimension to the process, hearing the soft sighs and gasps, the wet sounds of loving and ultimately the moans of orgasm certainly speeds up your own climax!
Our second week was no better than the first so we didn’t bother to travel to Devon where the naturist campsite is located. Yes we lost our deposit but the fuel we would have wasted would have been more anyway!
This past 10 days have been interesting for me. On my return to work I was greeted with an invitation to attend a conference on breast feeding being held by UNICEF. This was fascinating but more importantly, while there I was invited to attend a 5 day seminar and training program which will give me full UNICEF accreditation. I would be a fool to turn down such an opportunity, so I will be off to London next Sunday.
So there you are….sorry I have not been very active here on WordPress, but you will now know why I have been absent!

Oops, nearly forgot!

I completely forgot to mention this in my last post, but Phil & I finally got to see the consultant urologist about his Peyronies affliction.
It would appear that there is nothing to be done really, Phil’s condition is relatively mild, yes erections are painful and ejaculation makes the discomfort worse (the muscle contractions “squeeze” the sensitive area) but he assured us that the pain will subside within 12 months and as long as the area of plaque doesn’t get larger, there is no need for surgery as the risks can be far greater than the original ailment!! The curvature in Phil’s case is slight (more like an upturn at the end of his penis) and as it doesn’t cause me any discomfort, the whole thing is best left alone. We asked about the ultrasound therapy, but as there is no hard evidence that it is truly effective, that is no longer offered.
So, we are no further advanced, we will carry on with the Vitamin E treatment for now and we will wait to see how things go.

Doesn’t time fly!!

Where has the time gone? I can’t believe it’s been so long since my last post here.
So…what have i been up to? Well, two Fridays ago I went to an Ann Summers party hosted by a friend. Those of you who may not be familiar with Ann Summers, it is a chain of marital aide/lingerie shops that also does parties in peoples houses. All good, not so clean, fun!! Except that I think I have opened mouth before engaging brain during the evening. Part of the proceedings involves the organisers setting up party games to warm the atmosphere up! One of the games was a sort of Truth or Dare thing and you couldn’t have scripted it better if you had tried…the question I got was “have you ever had a threesome?”!!! I just smiled and asked to take the fifth amendment! Big mistake. Gasps and catcalls ensued. It would now seem that rather too many of my friends now know that I have indulged! Oh well……
The other thing that happened is that I went to hen party last weekend. (Batchelorette party for those of you in the States!) I have a lovely friend in London who’s daughter is getting married next weekend, my friend is a kind, generous, loving woman who I have a lot of time for. But she does have one flaw though, she is….how can I put this? Uncultured? Unsophisticated? I was told that her daughter, who I have known for over twenty years, wouldn’t take no for an answer. I had to come. But my heart sank when I heard that the venue was going to be a private members club in a part of London I would rather have avoided! More to the point, there were going to be “male strippers”! Oh joy!!!!!!
The party was everything I thought it would be, and then some! Have any of you ever heard of the Dancing Bear stripper act? The audience usually end up participating in some way. To be honest, I had always thought it was set up in some way, but no. There were two parties at the club that night and I would say that at least three of the ladies present actually had full penetrative sex with the two strippers. My friend’s daughter’s bridesmaid being one of them! The rest of us had to endure rubbing canned whipped cream over the the penises of the strippers, some had to lick it off (I avoided that “pleasure”!). The whole evening was just so…..crude. And the price of the drinks was extortionate!
The wedding is next weekend, I am trying to think of an excuse to get out of going…..I imagine that there will be some serious hangovers on the following Sunday.