attitude and comfort zone

This year has been an interesting one from the perspective of how we approach certain things. Take Phil for example, last spring he was diagnosed with Peyronies disease (a build up of plaque in the erectile tissue of the penis which causes painful erections and ejaculations, curving of the penis, sometimes quite alarmingly and in some cases erectile dysfunction). Our family doctor is a woman, so I half expected Phil to say that he would much rather see a male doctor about such an intimate issue. But I was wrong! In fact he stated that he felt more comfortable talking to a woman doctor about this, not to mention undergo the examination!! It’s not that he is homophobic, but he feels that having his most treasured possession handled, even for medical reasons, is best undertaken by a member of the opposite sex. It is a comfort thing.
Me, on the other hand, I would much rather be seen/examined by a member of my own gender! I remember some years ago having to call out the emergency doctor after falling down stairs and landing on my coccyx, fracturing it in two places. That entailed a rather intimate exam, including a “fickle finger of fate” up the back passage! The male doctor who came out was not only young enough to be my son, but was also rather dishy! Not that I was in any state to notice too much at the time……
In May, I had a Tantric massage, including a yoni massage, all done expertly by a female therapist that I felt completely at ease with. I didn’t even feel embarrassed when I climaxed. I’m not so sure that I would have given myself so completely to a male therapist. Again, it is a comfort thing.
That same female therapist saw me and Phil on Monday evening. She taught me how to give a non sexual massage to his lingam (penis), she also showed me how to use the squeeze technique when he felt he was about to ejaculate, as well as teach him deep breathing techniques to help control his urges. It’s just as well he feels more comfortable with members of the opposite sex!! I think he rather enjoyed being fussed by two women like that!

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7 responses to “attitude and comfort zone

  1. I completely agree! As I mentioned in one of my posts, I found Tantric massage with a professional of the opposite sex intensely uncomfortable and was unable to permit him to give me a yoni massage…however, my own lover can massage my yoni allday and allnight if he likes! Delish!

    So glad you and Phil had an opportunity to receive hands on training! YAY! from my heart to yours, Joy…I know I have left you hanging, I will email to explain why there’s been a gap in my online communication…muwah! Joy

  2. I love you! I think your openess is so darn refreshing!

    After your comment on my Nudity post I began thinking how wonderful it would be to be naked in a social setting with others the same as it could be extremely liberating and help me to be more at ease with my own body,so that was new thinking for me.

    Peyronies disease sounds awfully painful. I hope your Phil gets it managed.

    I am much more comfortable being examined by a female Dr and my Massage Therapist is female also.

    Tantric Massage? I’ll have to look into that, it sounds very beautifully erotic but whether I would opt for female or male on that one I’m not sure.. My other half is a little on the shy side so talking him into Tantric practices, which I have funnily enough mentioned to him, would be very difficult indeed, but the little I know about it sounds wonderful when practiced with your partner. Yoni Massage, I can only but guess what that is!

    Thank you so much for the subscribe and your comment. It was good to hear such opposing views but you were indeed correct about our “friend” and the latter comments made are quite sad, intolerant, opressive and the like. But we are all intitled to our opinions but it is still a shame that such il-liberality exists

    Anyway, a pleasure to meet you!

  3. I think a lot of men would be way too embarrassed to let a woman doctor treat their “wedding tackle”! I think you have a very liberated man In Phil, the exception to the rule.
    I know Paul would be mortified if he had to get his bits out for a woman doctor.

  4. I have to say that my wife and I are like you and your husband. When it comes to things “down there”, I feel much less vulnerable in front of a female than a male. It’s different if we’re both naked in a nudist setting, but if it’s just me that has to get out of my clothes, I just haven’t escaped the feeling of being “judged” down there, as though it’s somehow less likely that a woman doctor would be taking mental notes. And, I know that a doctor’s exam has nothing to do with their own sexuality, but I also feel like my sexual orientation isn’t violated if a female doctor has to handle me than when a male does.

    Even at home, I feel more comfortable letting my mom see my nude photography than my dad, who only saw it by accident, and I’ve felt more comfortable with my mom seeing me naked at home than my dad.

    My wife prefers female doctors like you, too.

    • I think it can also be a generational thing, when my dad was alive he just would not entertain dealing with a female doctor or nurse if it concerned anything remotely intimate! he was born in the 1920s, whereas my husband is from the 1950s & grew up in a more liberated time.

      • I think that definitely plays a role in it… my mom is around the same age as you and feels like I do about preferring an opposite-sex doctor. But I’d agree with you that we’re likely the minority of people who prefer opposite sex doctors, most people (like my wife) seem to prefer same sex physicians. In the end, neither side is wrong, a preference is just a preference!

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