A tricky one!

If you have been reading my previous entries you will know that in my role as a community health professional I have special responsibility for breast feeding matters. What I also do is question new mums about their general state of mind, how they are coping with motherhood, monitor their babies and stuff like that. However, on Monday I was going through the “maternal mood” questionaire with a mum in her late 20s and on completion I asked if there was anything else she wanted to ask me about. What she asked me floored me for a few moments!
“before I fell pregnant with baby J I was able to ejaculate, there wasn’t much opportunity to have sex during pregnancy, but since giving birth I don’t seem to have had much success, will it come back?”
Hmm….you can imagine my dilemma! I had no reason to doubt her sincerity, but how could I answer that? I could have just fobbed her off with a suggestion that she speaks to her doctor, but knowing what I do about most GPs, I felt that was short changing her. So I grabbed the bull by the horns and asked her if she had been doing her pelvic floor exercises regularly as that was what helped me after my first baby. There, I had said it. The cat was out of the bag, someone now knew that I could “shejaculate”! OK, I know that all of you who read my blog will know that I can do it, but this was the first person, other than my close friends Jacky & Garry, who would now be aware of my capabilities. In a way it was quite liberating. I felt that I could now talk about it to people who could genuinely have a need for my input.
Maybe I should become a sex counsellor!
Anyway, I ran through the pelvic floor routines with her (her midwife should have done that), got her to try peeing and stopping mid-flow without leaking, and generally tried to reassure her that things would get back to normal soon.
I will enjoy monitoring her progress!

Advertisements

5 responses to “A tricky one!

    • Wow, I am also surprised her midwife had not covered this vital tidbit. I have worked as a doula (childbirth support) for years and am sometimes shocked at the lack of education around sexuality and motherhood! The Tantric orgasm for Women book (can’t remember the author) covers the connection between mothering and Tantra in a chapter of the book….considering I have had four live births, 5 miscarriages and have 3 step children….take it from a MOM who loves sex, there is not enough positive info out there!

      Thank you, J, for bringing light to this important topic! You’re such a kindred spirit!

      • The problem is that we have a shortage of good midwives here. And that is felt more out in the community, I find myself having to do more and more things that the local midwife or health visitor should be responsible for. I have recently taken over the smoking cessation role here in my area, I’m happy to do it but I am not really qualified to prescribe some of the treatments I find myself giving out.
        As for the pelvic floor exercises, well I have plenty of experience but again, I not really qualified.

  1. Yes, there seems to be a shortage of good midwives around the globe…I think it’s partially because the training is so expensive and the duration of the training tends to interfere with family life because it’s so intense.

    I am glad you’re able to step up, but you also don’t want to burn out! Make sure you take care of yourself!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s